Fair Food

... or

Ohioans Will Eat Anything If It's Deep Fried And/Or On a Stick

Yep, my Sweetie and I went to the Ohio State Fair tonight. She's worked at the fair a few days this summer but hadn't really looked around (except for finding her beloved french waffles, of course). I hadn't been since the summer we dated, so we dodged rain drops and headed out.

If you haven't been to a fair recently, well, I'm not kidding about the fair fare. If it's edible, you can find it either deep fried or on a stick. Most usually both. From the traditional corn dogs to the "newer" fads like candy bars, there's almost nothing that hasn't been fattened up. Here are the things I noticed today, in no particular order:

• corn dogs (deep fried on a stick, DFS )
• elephant ears (deep fried only, DFO)
• "texas tenderloin" (stick only, SO, and no, I have no idea what that is)
• candy bars (DFS)
• ice cream (DFS and SO)
• pickles (DFS)
• cheese (DFS)
• zucchini (DFO, yes mom, they had fried zuke, no I didn't have any)
• funnel cake (DFO)
• french waffles (DFO)
• french fries (DFO)
• chicken on a stick (SO)
• fried corn on a cob (DFS)
• "blossomed onion" (DFO)
• deep fried Hostess products (knock-offs included, DFS)
• deep fried cheesecake (DFS)
• deep fried pie (I didn't look at the varieties, DFS)
• deep fried mushrooms (DFO)
• deep fried bananas (DFS)

No, I'm not kidding.

So, in the spirit of the fattening of the Midwest, I offer these suggestions for next year. Vendors, please send me royalty checks for the scads of money you're bound to make:

• deep fried shrimp kebabs (DFS)
• deep fried oatmeal raisin cookies (DFO)
• okra on a stick (SO)
• deep fried peanut butter sammiches (DFO, my homage to The King)
• deep fried butter-on-a-stick(DFS)
• sushi on a stick (SO)
• deep fried salmon nuggets (DFS)
• deep fried lettuce, for the health conscious (DFO)
• deep fried watermelon (DFS)
• deep fried lasagna (DFO)