Thought #1:
I have a magic finger. With my magic finger, I seem to have the capacity to get my kid to stop screaming when all other avenues fail. I think it's the doing of this guy, who has a DVD which we were recommended by our friend, Ken, to watch. We did before Amy went into labor, and, whenever Bambina would have a crying jag at the hospital, I'd follow the advice given on the video, one part of which was to use your finger as a binka-bluffa-paci-corka-Nuk (or whatever you want to call the thing you stick in your kid's mouth to get it to be quiet). And still, almost two months later, if Bambina is howling (like this morning) and can't be otherwise soothed (like this morning), sticking my finger in her mouth seems to do the trick. Oh, it's not just any finger, mind you. It's the ring finger on my right hand. I should immortalize it, maybe have it bronzed or something...
Thought #2:
Here, presented for the first time is Bald Man Tom's BABY TO ENGLISH TRANSLATION MANUAL
Baby Speak | English |
|---|---|
WAAAAAAAAAAAH! | I'm hungry! |
WAAAAAAAAAAAH! | I'm too cold! |
WAAAAAAAAAAAH! | I'm too hot! |
WAAAAAAAAAAAH! | You're squeezing me too tight! |
WAAAAAAAAAAAH! | You're not holding me tight enough! |
WAAAAAAAAAAAH! | You're holding me wrong! |
WAAAAAAAAAAAH! | MOMMY! DADDY'S A BUTTHEAD!!! |
WAAAAAAAAAAAH! | I'm tired! |
WAAAAAAAAAAAH! | I'm bored! |
WAAAAAAAAAAAH! | I'm lonely! |
WAAAAAAAAAAAH! | I've got a dirty diaper! |
WAAAAAAAAAAAH! | I've gotta burp! |
WAAAAAAAAAAAH! | I've gotta fart! |
WAAAAAAAAAAAH! | I've gotta make a dookie! |
WAAAAAAAAAAAH! | Noone knows the troubles I seen... |
WAAAAAAAAAAAH! | You never let me do ANYTHING! |
WAAAAAAAAAAAH! | I have just solved the worlds most troublesome problems! Hunger? Gone! Economic disparity? Gone! Ethnic and religious tensions? Gone! Global warming? Gone! And NOONE UNDERSTANDS WHAT I'M TRYING TO TELL THEM! WHERE'S MY NOBEL PRIZE?! |
EURLEURLEURLEULREURL! | I AM NOT HAPPY! I AM NOT GOING TO BE HAPPY! I DON'T WANT TO BE HAPPY! NOTHING YOU CAN SAY OR DO WILL EVER MAKE ME HAPPY! |
The varying translations are derived from subtle variations in pitch, volume, repetition and speed of speaking. Other translations are pending, as research is ongoing.
4 comments:
yeah... that's pretty much how that goes. :-)
my daughter is refusing to take a nap at the moment and pounding on the walls instead. what fun!
darrin -
can't wait for that.... :P
currently, Bambina is refusing to take her last ounce of formula. this is the third straight feeding she's refused it. you'd think she'd be hungry....
Impressive for an infant! Has your finger gotten all pruny? :)
joann -
not yet. it's not often that she gets to the completely inconsolable state. mostly while I'm driving :)
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