Friday, June 15, 2012

Pro Tip For the Men

Here's a tip just for the fellas. Cologne is not a marinade. You don't need to sit in a vat of it for an hour or more in order for it to perform its function. Cologne is more like saffron. A little goes a long way. Seriously gents, if you've gotta use a cubic yard of cologne to cover up your stench, perhaps you ought to take a bath. You know, with water. And soap.

This rant is dedicated to the 20-something dude who ignored the unspoken "skip a seat in a non-crowded theater" rule to sit mere inches from me so he could be "one seat closer to the middle." He arrived just as previews were starting, so I didn't have a chance to move. His musky malodor was so heinous that even now, an hour after parting ways, my nose still burns and I'm somewhat queasy. Blargh.

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