We had our third class tonight, and it was, from my POV, at least, the best one so far. Of course, that's not saying a whole lot, since it was really the only one that bore any relevance to fathers. The first one was "Labor and Delivery," and while I plan to be there, there's not a lot I can do other than cheer from the sidelines and try to keep Amy from tearing the doctor's head off. Maybe I'll learn about that during the second session (it runs four weeks). The second class was "Breast Feeding Basics," and I gotta tell ya, other than learning that I should be there to offer moral support (which I already figured I should do) there wasn't a lot for me. I mean, it's not like I have the right equipment to share the workload or anything....
Anyhow, tonight was the first of two classes called "Heading Home: The First Three Months," which talks about important things like dressing the baby, swaddling the baby, changing diapers, the color and consistency of poop... all the fun stuff. This is the stuff the man really needs to know in order to be useful around the house and not piss off the spouse with the constant vapid stare when the baby needs something. Our instructor is a very kind, good humored woman who looks to be about grandmothering age. She seems quite knowledgeable, but also somewhat uncomfortable speaking in public. My favorite quote of the night came when talking about sponge bathing an infant: "Slippery babies can be wet." 'K, thanks ma'am, I'll keep that in mind :P
9 comments:
Babies are especially slippery when soapy and wet! And they really, really REALLY don't appreciate being dunked! :-)
anon -
I believe it! I believe more that they're slippery when wet than wet when slippery, in fact :)
As for dunking, I think the baby being unhappy would pale in comparison to the Wife's unhappiness should I dunk said progeny...
Trust me, the "slippery when wet" cannot be underestimated, Tom. After a while, once the little ones were a bit bigger, it was easier to hold a baby in the shower rather than try to maneuver them in the baby bath gizmo. (The secret to handling the shower is making sure that the spouse is ready when it's time for the kid to get out. Proper planning is essential, but since you're a QA person, I'm sure you can handle that.)
Oh, and for the most part, the stink isn't that bad. Unless you somehow open up the diaper genie's plastic enclosure by accident, that is.
Diaper genie? What is this "diaper genie"?
Surely you jest!
The Diaper Genie is an incredible invention; it took the old notion of a diaper pail and inserted a long, skinny plastic trashbag with a twist gizmo on top. What you do is lift the lid, insert dirty diaper, twist a wheel several times to "lock" the diaper in place, and then close lid.
No fuss, no muss. After about 15 or so of those diapers (depending on the kid's diaper size), there's a cut mechanism in the wheel and you spin it that way instead, cutting the plastic bag. You tie it shut, then throw the long train of dirty diapers in the trash.
redbeard -
Sorry, never heard of one. Maybe Amy has :P
We made it through both kids' diaper years without a Diaper Genie. No one bought us one, so I learned to live without it. As long as you take the trash out at least once a day (usually right after "the big one"), you can live without it. I just couldn't see spending good money on special trash bags, although other brands make similar devices that use normal trash bags.
I think babies -- and children in general -- are slippery, even when not wet. They are especially slippery in crowded department stores at Christmastime, when you're wife says, "Here, you watch the kid while I go look at purses."
elizabeider -
I think yours is pretty much Amy's take on the matter, though I should prolly let her speak for herself.
anon -
Testify! I'm sure I'll be learning all about how slippery those little bugg.... err.... beautiful angels can be sooner than I'm ready for.
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